Fickle Fork of Fate

Sandra Lee's Kwanzaa Cake

Many of you will have seen this, but what's the point of having a War Crimes section and not documenting things like this? Sandra Lee is to food what Slobodan Milosovic is to uncleansed ethnic groups.

 

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Let Them Eat Cake?

Sandra Lee is from another planet as far as I'm concerned. Maybe it's because I'm just a grunt and I don't do the whole entertain-to-impress-the-boss routine. Now, I saw the Chefography bio on Sandra, and she gets a hat tip for having a crappy childhood and coming out reasonably sane. But the themed decorations, endless parade of color-coordinated tableware, and ever-changing kitchen decor drives me nuts.

Mother of God....you weren't joking

Mmmmmmm......STORE BOUGHT icing with flavours dumped in! Pie filling from a can, but....it's in the CENTER of a CAKE! Was the cake store-bought, too? How convenient! Thank Christ we have mavericks like Sandra Lee to teach us how to throw together premade ingredients!
I won't even start on the implications of an airheaded blonde waif thinking she has anything to add to a Kwanzaa catering spread...that piece brings a whole new dimension to the "war crimes" concept.

Throwing shit together you

Throwing shit together you bought at the store!  See, you too can cook!  Weeee.
Ick!
She and Rachel Ray should be pushed out on an ice flow.
 

Sandra Lee and Rachael Ray on an ice floe...

...would make me very conflicted about global warming.

SL and RR on an ice flow, feeling conflicted about global warmin

...only 'til the polar bear got there.

Kwanzaa Cake

You do know about Cake Wrecks, right? Well, Jen hates Sandra Lee too, and did a post about the Kwanzaa cake. With a link to the flickr stream of some people who actually recreated it AND THEN ATE IT.
 
http://cakewrecks.blogspot.com/2008/12/kwanzaa-will-not-be-spared.html

Ah, the lovely Sandra....

I knew after you savaged the Guyster that the equally hapless Sandra Lee could not be far behind.
 
A couple of links for your viewing pleasure:
http://blog.foodienyc.com/i_loathe_sandra_lee_monthly_recipe/
http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=RLMNZ6xY6YY

OMG

Wow. This video shows the very very worst of 'cooking'. I'm sure that angel-food cake WAS store-bought. And then the horrible cutting job she did of it! No serrated knife, just hacking through with a dull vegetable knife, then slapping on a sloppy layer of canned crud that wasn't even mixed well enough to get the streaks of cinnamon out.
And the whole barbie-shaped nitwit making a sugary calorie-laden atrocity she would never eat thing... I wonder if this is someone's idea of "what would black people like to eat on Kwanzaa?" for a show theme.
Truly a great entry for the War Crimes museum. Eugh.
 
Jon

This still isn't as bad as

This still isn't as bad as the cake that went ablaze on a Food Network challenge episode - Stevie Famulari literally thought it was a good idea to put candles on an ugly-ass cake that was covered in flammable syrup. Nice going, failtard.
http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=Ztc6wy9aeB8

Ohhh - and how could I forget

Ohhh - and how could I forget this hilarious blog post:
http://www.ultrafinefood.com/2006/11/kwanzaa-celebration-cakestravaganza...
These guys recreate the Kwanzaa cake (with the help of a lot of bourbon).

Failtard!!

My new favorite word. I almost fell out of my chair! Bless you, sir or madam :)

Stevie Famulari is a freakin' hack!

and a pollution to the human gene pool. I'm just sayin'...

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