So, how did I end up at Gabutto Burger in the first place?

The iPad proved to be an inescapably awesome travel companion in Chicago. Whether it was giving us step-by-step transit directions to museums and restaurants, telling us when the next bus would be around, or, most importantly, finding us places to eat, I don't know how we'd have managed without it.

Monday was the day for driving home. The plan was to lounge around the hotel for a while, then head west on 90 toward home. So I pulled up Urbanspoon, zoomed in on 90, and started tapping on dots to look for something promising. The Gabutto Burger dot intrigued me, which led me to this Chicago Reader review, then unto the aforelinked Gabutto Burger website where I confirmed the existence of a palatable vegetarian option.

I was bordering on giddy the entire morning. This is exactly what I wanted to do on this trip - find something completely different, something totally unavailable to me in Minneapolis. Something I could afford. Something I could eat.

So, what was it like? It was weird. I mean, it was good, but it was different enough that you're constantly second-guessing your taste buds, wondering if it's supposed to be like this. It's supposed to be like that. I ordered the standard Gabutto cheeseburger, which starts with a quarter pound patty that mixes beef, pork, milk, egg, and bread crumbs to create an almost meatball texture and a sweet, slightly porky flavor. Really tasty, but very cognitively dissonant.

Then the burger is... coated, I guess? In what they call a "demiglace" sauce - a sweet meat gravy. You can also get it with teriyaki instead. The sauce sort of reminded me of hoisin sauce, that sweet almost-fruitiness hoisin has, but mixed with meaty glutamadness. The cheese was nondescript - if I were ever to go here again I'd probably skip it, as I don't think it added much. You then get lettuce, tomato, red onion, mayo, and a slightly sweet bun.

Note that I've used the word "sweet" to denote the three major components of this hamburger. That's the what-the-fuck factor on the palate at Gabutto. It's good, but so strange that it's tough to just enjoy it the first time.

I got a combo, of course, because there would be fries. Gabutto's fries are nothing special. Largely unseasoned frozen shoestrings. Until you transform them with one or more of eight shaker-cans full of powdered evil. I tried the wasabi, which was unfortunately mild and dominated by salt. And I tried the curry cheese. If you've ever had that flavor that the Japanese think of as "curry", you'll know exactly what this tasted like, except with some powdered cheese added in. It was good in the way only truly wrong things can be good.

It would take me at least four more trips to Chicago to properly evaluate the rest of the shaker cans. And to properly explore the burger options. And to have room to try their weird custard-stuffed pancake pucks. Unless they decided to start the world's most unlikely franchise, and start it in, say, the Midtown Global Market.